yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
