The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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