I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
