5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
