Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize