Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
