So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
