Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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