Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
