physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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