I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
