My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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