I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
