Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize