Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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