so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
