Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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