we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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