come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
