She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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