I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
