It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
