when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
