and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
