Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
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we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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