Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
