i just had sex bonerless
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize