Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Randomize
