Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
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