He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize