Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
