he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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