Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
wanna go halves on a baby?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
