I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
the liver wants what the liver wants
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
