It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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