Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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