She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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