I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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