i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
