Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
