if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
