when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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