How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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