Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
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I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
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Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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