she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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