you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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