If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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