Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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