Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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