He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
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Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
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Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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