At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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