I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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