Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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