when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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