im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
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So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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