do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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