i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
