You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
