In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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