you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
