maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
