my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
How's work?
Spinning.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
