I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Drunk is a universal language darling
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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