i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
